


Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice

by harriblou



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Arguing, Baseball Player Harry Styles, Biting, Bottom Louis Tomlinson, Car Sex, Choking, Enemies to Lovers, Friends With Benefits, Harry Styles & Louis Tomlinson Hate Each Other, Harry is mean, Hate is a strong word, Jealous Harry, Light Angst, M/M, Physics Major Louis, Possessive Harry, Riding, Slightly - Freeform, Smut, bratty louis, except enemies, fuck is in every other sentence, implied subspace ?, lol, more like they're dumb, overuse of the word fuck, slight D/s, so is louis, they're dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harriblou/pseuds/harriblou
Summary: “You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing.“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 244





	Kiss Me Once, Kiss Me Twice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [breadylou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadylou/gifts).



> THIS IS FOR [KIN!](https://twitter.com/breadylou) my lovely, sweet valentine!!! i love you so much and i hope you enjoy your gift!!! i tried to include as many things that you liked as possible and it was so fun writing this for you. i'm so glad that i was your secret admirer and i loved talking to you through anonymous little messages. it was so exciting getting to know how kind and sweet you are through this whole event and i'm so grateful for the little bond that we have now <3 i love love love you and i hope you enjoy it!!! happy valentine's day and i love you again hehe.
> 
> also this was supposed to be a short drabble, but i got so carried away and i've been in a writing slump for a very long time and this got me out of it so it might be a little wonky, but i like it and i hope my valentine does too haha don’t take it too seriously and try to ignore the unrealistic elements LOL oh and the title is from the song “it’s been a long long time” it’s literally the trumpet song that captain america slow dances to, what a bop sjsjsnx

College wasn’t Harry’s thing. He wasn’t a complete idiot, he could read and he liked politics enough to major in it, but his high school grades and SAT score weren’t what got him into a D1 university. It also wasn’t his good looks or charming personality, even though he’s convinced that half of his pretty big Instagram following considered those a bonus. 

But for what his intelligence lacked, his baseball skills made up for tenfold. And he thinks his boasting was certainly justified when it came to baseball because Goddamn, was Harry a fucking beast on the field. He’d never loved anything or anyone more than baseball and he’d suffer through an early AM lecture on Statistical International Politics with Professor Chadsworth any day for the sport. 

So while college wasn’t his thing and baseball definitely was, partying fell somewhere in between. 

He fucked up his first year a bit by going to every single party invite that was sent in the frat and team group-chat and then drinking enough to thicken his muscles a bit. And his sophomore year was still pretty bad, but he learned to do his homework on bus and plane rides to games and to milk the shit out of extended deadlines for athletes. And he lost all the puppy fat and drinking chub he’d put on. He’s well into his third year now, his junior year, and he’s got a couple of MLB scouting offers sitting high and pretty above him, so his wild partying isn’t as excessive as his former years. 

It's something he’d like to work on, but maybe next week or semester or whenever he found a good enough reason to sit around the frat house like his older brothers. 

As of now, he’s content with the cheap mix of liquor and juice burning his throat and the cute girl talking his ear off about fuck knows what. He thinks he’s seen her before but he can’t be sure and he doesn’t remember her name and he definitely can’t ask her again. She doesn’t seem to mind that he’s only half paying attention to what she’s saying, mainly just kept staring at her tits.

He was about to ask her something that would get them out of here when a familiar giggle froze him in place. 

His eyes immediately found him, surrounded by a flock of girls and a delicate wrist clutched onto a guy Harry didn’t recognize. They came in from the back, passing by Harry without any notice at all, and then settled by the cheap plastic table full of drinks and solo cups. 

He was wearing a crop top that had his navel and belly button piercing on display and Harry would be a weak man if he had gone over there the minute he saw it. Instead, he waited until it was out of sight and blocked off by some douchebag standing too close to the boy with the exposed belly before turning back to the girl. 

“Hey, you want a drink? I’m gonna go get a drink,” Harry said as he detangled himself from her limbs. She replied but Harry was already out of earshot and steadily making his way to the kitchen area. 

A girl recognized him and rolled her eyes as she elbowed the other girls and Harry sent them a smile. They hated him because their best friend hated him and he hated them because they were best friends with Louis Tomlinson.

Louis Tomlinson, the bane of Harry’s existence. 

He was beautiful, Harry would give him that. Louis was easily the most beautiful person on campus, with pretty blue eyes and pretty pink lips and a cute button nose. His body was absolutely amazing, too, a road of endless curves and smooth skin. 

Despite all of this, Louis was a bitch. A downright bitch. 

Everyone on campus was fooled by his pretty face but not Harry. He knew that Louis was bratty, rude, and absolutely annoying. He was a pain in the ass and a fucking migrane to argue with and Harry was determined to piss him off before Louis could do the same to him.

“Hey, bud,” Harry interrupted, clapping a heavy hand on the guy pressed up against Louis’ shoulder. It startled them both, but the guy turned around to face Harry first. Harry was better looking, he noticed immediately. 

The guy was tall and lanky and had sandy blonde hair and a nose too big. Harry’s nose wasn’t that big. This guy also had a big pimple on his forehead and Harry’s pimples weren’t that gross. Harry sent Louis a glance, slow and in disbelief. Was Louis seriously planning on taking his dude home? 

Louis’ narrowed eyes met his icily before rolling in the opposite direction with a huff, crossing his tiny arms over his chest. 

“Can you pass me the White Claws to your left? Don’t want to intrude on your,” Harry waved his hands in their direction, “situation, but I think it’s better than me squeezing between you, right?” 

The guy didn’t say anything as he reached into the cooler and stuck his hands in the ice and Harry almost wanted to tell him that the White Claws were in the other red cooler, but he had other things to tend to. 

“Who’s your friend?” Harry asked, stepping in to cage Louis ever so subtly against the wall. 

“Shut the fuck up and leave me alone,” Louis seethed, blue eyes burning with so much anger they were practically red. It only fueled Harry’s fire stronger and brighter. 

“Just wanted to come and say hello, noticed you walked in a while back and figured it’d be rude of me to not introduce myself to your new pal.” 

Louis gave him a look. “Then why do you have him hunched over digging through all that ice just to get you a drink? And a White Claw? I thought you said those drinks are for pussies.” 

Harry laughed because White Claws are for pussies, but the drink wasn’t for him. “So what’s Prince Charming’s name?”

“None of your business, is it?” Louis haughtily replied, chin upturned like the brat that he was. Harry knew it, why nobody else did was a mystery to him. Harry raised a brow and Louis glared at him some more. “His name is Steven and he’s nice.”

Harry cackled loudly, savoring the very minute Louis’ scowl deepened. “His name is Steve and he’s nice? Is that all?”

“Well that and his cock is massive,” Louis bit back, cutting off any of the stray laughs escaping Harry’s throat. 

Harry hummed, eyeing Louis’ lips before sneaking a glance at the guy digging through ice. “Is that all there is to him? Who would’ve guessed your standards were so high, not me certainly” 

Louis sighed, swirling around the drink in his cup. He was always so dramatic. “There’s also the bit where he doesn’t stand me up on our first date.”

And that was lovely. Harry smiled through the grimace that shook his body because fuck Louis Tomlinson and his nasty grudges. He never let anything go and that was a main part of Harry’s problem with him. 

Their freshman year, they shared some sort of Communications class that was extremely boring and too early in the morning. Harry didn’t pay much attention to anything but the devil himself, Louis Tomlinson, who sat right next to him in the medium sized lecture hall. He was cute and he was smart and they got on well enough at first, so Harry tested his luck and asked him out. Except he planned their date on the exact day as his first away game and completely forgot to tell him. 

Their friendship or whatever they’d had went downhill from there. 

Louis moved seats with some random kid in their class, always making sure to go out of his way to debate Harry during the class moderated discussions. That was embarrassing and highly annoying considering the fact that Harry was never prepared to talk in front of the class because he didn’t pay attention in said class, but he’d be damned if someone made a fool out of him in front of twenty some kids. 

Petty class arguments led to full on yelling tournaments at the dining hall or whenever they’d run across each other on campus. They didn’t even need to be on campus to fight either, they’d piss each other off anywhere. 

Like now.

“Hey man, these things were buried over there,” Steven laughed, standing up to his full height and shaking the White Claws. He wasn’t taller than Harry and Harry made sure his back was as straight as it could be. He stuck a free hand out to shake Harry’s and Harry made sure to squeeze just a little tighter. “I’m Steve.”

“That’s swell,” Harry offered instead of his name. He wasn’t here for Stan or his cheap conversation. He wasn’t here to watch him flirt with Louis or put his grimey, no good hands all over him. He was here because his job was to irritate the fuck out of Louis. 

Stanley looked taken back by it, but neither one of their attention was on each other. Louis blinked his lashes up slowly and boredly at Harry, on purpose like the minx he was, before leaning back into that guy space. 

Louis was mumbling into his ear and honestly, Harry thought that was quite rude. He wasn’t surprised, because Louis Tomlinson was a bitch, but he still bristled as he was obviously being ignored while they whispered at each other. They can’t have known each other long enough for them to be 

He cleared his throat and Louis had the audacity to look annoyed when the sound tore him away from the guy he was with. 

“What?”

Harry smiled sweetly, the one with his dimple and that had all of his momma’s friends charmed. 

“I just think it’s a little rude to ignore your company, is all,” Harry said, wiggling his eyebrows over the brim of his beer. 

Louis scoffed at him. “You sure as fuck are not in my company, Harold. Saw you in Sandy’s over in the corner earlier, should I go return you?”

Harry laughed because he was starting to get under Louis’ skin, he could see it all over him. It was written in his defensive posture and his flared nostrils and upturned chin. It was in the clench of his small hands as he gripped at the red solo cup between his fingers. 

“You were paying attention to me? Didn’t know you were so obsessive.”

Louis gave him the same exact sweet smile that Harry had on moments before, except Louis’ was dripping with an innocent seductiveness and beauty, all from the bite of his bottom pink lip. It was calling Harry like a siren in the sea singing to a pirate and they were already a little too deep in their game. 

“It’s hard not to notice your big head, Styles.” 

Steven or whatever S-starting name the man had, was looking between them unsurely. Harry would tell him to fuck right off, would’ve done it the minute he saw him wrapped around Louis’ finger, but Harry knew the feeling all too well. He also knew the feeling of Louis around him and he knew that letting Steven watch them like a third wheel, getting to see the defeat on his face when he realized that Louis wasn’t going home with him but with Harry, that was one of the sweetest victories in the entire world. 

Because fuck Louis Tomlinson, fuck his stupid attitude and his grudges and his perfectly pleasant treatment of everyone but Harry. He knew the real Louis, he knew that he was a bitch and he wasn’t the angel everyone believed him to be, and he also knew all of his kinks. He knew what made him tick in public and in the private of sex. Fuck Louis Tomlinson all the time, but especially when he was being fucked dumb by Harry. 

“Hey Steve, thanks for the White Claw, man,” Harry said, cracking open the watermelon flavored can with a free hand. He gripped the beer tight in his hand and raised it at the confused man in a mock toast, but kept his eyes on Louis. 

“Uh, no problem—”

“It wasn’t for me, though. It was for my dear lovely Louis,” Harry smugly interrupted, dimpled grin burning under the murderous blue gaze directed at him. Louis took the drink held out to him anyways, a sign of defeat and an acceptance of what was to come. “He doesn’t like cheap house beer. He likes White Claws, dear Lou loves to get white-girl-wasted. Don’t you, love?”

Louis’ eye twitched as he took a sip of it anyways, a pretty middle finger pointed right at him. Steven’s face furrowed even more. Before Harry could say anything, Louis beat him to it. 

“Thanks for the drink and the chat, Styles. Always lovely to see what a piece of shit baseball player looks like up close. Maybe we’ll see you around. Probably not though,” Louis rushed out, annoyed and red in the face like he always was after a too-quick chug of alcohol. 

He pushed himself off the wall and pushed Steven in front of him and this was all a part of what they did. They pushed and pushed and pushed until they were pushing each other against the wall. They fought and they fucked and they fucked like they fought, rough and biting. Harry wasn’t going to go away, Louis didn’t want him to. 

He didn’t want to go home with Steven, not when they both knew that Harry could fuck him a million times better even if his legs were tied. Not when they both knew that Harry would fuck Steven up the next time he tried to make a move. 

He let them go away, still in eyesight and easy to spot in the mass of a million people crowded into the small house. Louis was giving his toy a pout, jumping on his toes a little like he was throwing a fit. Steven kept shaking his head and pulling his hands away from Louis’ body, refusing to dance with him anymore. He was still tender in his touch as he let Louis down gently and Harry would be annoyed, but he’d rather him be respectful than a dickhead upset that he wouldn’t pull with someone as pretty as Louis. 

“What happened?” Harry asked when he’d finally pushed people aside to get to upset little Louis who had his arms crossed over his chest and a firm set in his brows. 

Louis rolled his eyes at him, reaching for the other White Claw in Harry’s hands. He opened it for him and watched as he drank it easily. 

“You better not get drunk,” Harry warned. He didn’t want Louis to get drunk because he couldn’t have sex with him inebriated, but also because Louis was a piece of shit drunk. He was messy, flirty and handsy with everyone, not just Harry, and would hump the nearest man that was over six foot. He was also ridiculously emotional and pouty and bratty and fucking annoying. 

Harry has babysat a drunk Louis too many times to want to carry him around and get him to stop trying to give it up to everyone. 

“Shut the fuck up, Harold, all you do is talk shit and look stupid,” Louis groaned, walking away. He was going outside, to the front of the house and away from the fucking awful booming music and annoying smelly crowd. 

Harry followed him easily, eyes drawn on the tilt of Louis’ hips and the way his ass bounced in his jeans. Louis was fucking annoying, but he was Goddamn beautiful. 

“You sure you’re not wasted? You’re even bitchier today.”

Louis laughed at him, mean and nothing like his real laugh, but enough to put a smile on Harry’s face. “If I was wasted, I’d be having a much better time and I’d be fucking Steven.”

“You don’t want to fuck Steven,” Harry snarled immediately. “You want me to fuck you. You’re not having a good time, baby? Stop playing hard to fucking get, I already know how easy you open your legs for a little bit of name calling.” 

He could see the way Louis gulped, even in the dimness of the suburban street with two street lamps. The moon didn’t help much either, but it was alright. They’ve been doing this long enough to know each other’s ticks in the dark. 

“You’re fucking easy for fucking name calling, too, so don’t even fucking start. Sir,” Louis hissed back at him and Harry hated when he did that. He hated when Louis did a lot of things but he hated when Louis threw that word around. “I heard you struck out looking at yesterday’s game.”

Harry grimaced because he did do shitty yesterday, but he still did better than anyone else on either team. He struck out and he didn’t even swing the bat and it was a little humiliating because he never does that shit and he was going to fuck the smug brattiness out of Louis Tomlinson. 

Harry didn’t give any warning before he pushed his body into Louis’, forcing him back against the passenger door of the SUV parked in front of the house. It wasn’t Harry’s car, his car was parked a couple paces down the road, but he couldn’t wait to walk Louis down over there. He needed to shut him up now and he was going to do it the way he knew best. 

It was like an automatic reaction, the way Louis let himself be caged against the car and tilted his mouth up and stood on his tiptoes. The way his eyelashes fluttered and his mouth parted and his cheeks flushed, it was all just as automatic as Harry’s body moved when he played baseball or when he wrapped his hands around the smooth column of Louis’ neck, when he leaned his head down to ghost his lips over Louis’, when he pressed their bodies close enough to suffocate. 

“You’re a fucking brat, you know that,” Harry muttered through clenched teeth, bones already burning with the pure desire and hatred mixing in his body. It was an intoxicating rush of adrenaline and something else that probably came with fucking Louis Tomlinson. He squeezed his neck just a little tighter. “I can’t stand it.”

Their lips were brushing against each other, just moving with the ragged movements of their mouths and harsh breathing. 

“You’re a lying piece of shit dickhead,” Louis muttered right back. That was all he did, challenge and nag. He loved to have the last word and Harry let him because he used all his energy to fuck him mindless. 

He didn’t respond, just finally joined their lips together in a harsh push of teeth and tongue and lips. Louis tasted like the sugary watermelon from his White Claw and the tiniest hint of cheap house beer. He was nothing like the way he treated Harry, this Louis was sweet and inviting and pliant and easy.

Louis opened up with a soft moan, fingers grasping at the wrist belonging to the hand choking his neck and the other pulling at Harry to come closer. Harry didn’t like being pulled at, he forced Louis’ wandering hand down at his side, instead moving it away so he could pull at the skin on Louis’ hips. The soft and warm and smooth skin that Harry was going to leave teeth marks on. 

He let his tongue swirl around Louis’ two more times before moving down to the smaller boy’s throat. He nipped with the harsh bites and the sharp of his teeth, holding Louis still as he squirmed and gasped and flinched. He was rocking against Harry desperately, whimpering like he didn’t know what else to do and Harry didn’t let him do anything else. He just let the boy make a mess of himself. 

“You want it so fucking bad, don’t you?” Harry asked against the reddening skin of Louis’ neck. Louis was going to punch him in the dick when he noticed the new tinted necklace Harry made for him with his teeth, but Harry’s been punched in the dick by Louis before. He’s also had a fastball come at him at 100mph, he could handle his punishment for the masterpiece he’s created. 

“Hurry up, shit,” Louis groaned, wincing away from a particularly harsh bite on his collarbone. Harry would’ve been worried if he didn’t know that Louis had a thing for being bit just as much as Harry had a thing for biting him. 

Harry chuckled as he kissed and sucked on the skin in a means to make amends. “You’re like my personal chew toy.”

“Finally admitting you’re a dumb dog, then?” Louis hissed at him, yanking at Harry’s hair with his free hand and then pinching his shoulder. It hurt enough to make Harry pinch him back at the meat of his hip, but they both liked hurting each other well enough. 

“You’re still running your mouth?” 

“You haven’t done a very good job at shutting me up, idiot.” 

It was another challenge and Harry loved taking the bait. He was competitive and he liked to prove people wrong, on the field and off. He knew his way around a baseball field and he definitely knew his way around Louis’ body. 

Louis couldn’t make any noise other than wordless little gasps and he writhed against the metal of the car door and Harry ran his fingers just over the dip of Louis’ spine. He loved mapping Louis’ curves with the tips of his fingers, loved to dip them into the back of Louis’ pants under the layers of fabric and just feel the velvety traces of soft skin. Louis’ body was perfect and Harry was but a man next to an angel on earth. 

“Harry, would you stop fucking teasing,” Louis gasped when Harry let his fingers roam in between the crevice of Louis’ ass, running right over the puckered rim in small little circles. 

He sucked a hard bruise into the flesh just below Louis’ jaw, offering only a hum to Louis’ desperation. He wasn’t interested in being ordered around or Louis’ bratty attitude, all he was focused on was the heat trapped between their legs.

Harry pushed his knee forward, splitting Louis’ legs open to prop him up on his thigh. It allowed for the smaller boy to keep canting his hips into something solid and it was one less thing Harry had to focus on in order to get him off. All that was left for him to play with was Louis’ hole and Harry definitely had no qualms about that. 

Louis was sensitive, he’d never admit to it though. He was, he twitched and fluttered under any sort of touch that had the slightest bit of intention. A firm hand on the back of his neck, a squeeze on any part of his body, anything had him squirming. Nothing quite had him squirming the way that he was when he had his hole being played with. 

Harry wasn’t going to fuck him where everyone could see, even if the party was still in full swing and the only people around them weren’t paying attention. He decided to carry Louis and didn’t bother asking him when he hauled him over his shoulder, just balanced him with one arm and dug in his pocket for his keys. 

“You could be a little more gentle, you fucking ass,” Louis snapped at him when Harry threw him in the backseat of his car. He rubbed at his elbow that Harry figured he’d bumped when he was in mid-air, but Harry ignored his complaining and tugged at his jeans and underwear. 

He made sure the doors were locked because he was a gentleman and then took off Louis’ shirt. The boy before him was beautiful, clothed or bare. He was gorgeous, from the red blush on his cheeks to the delicate ankles rested on Harry’s thighs. His skin was soft and smooth and endless and just a little pudgy from his leaned position and when Harry’s eyes met Louis’, he had to laugh. 

“Are you going to drool over me or are you going to dick me down?” 

“You don’t have any fucking manners, baby,” Harry muttered as he reached over the front seats for the lube and condoms in his glove compartment. 

“Watch your fucking knees, your fucking boots are stabbing me,” Louis scowled, shoving at Harry’s legs. It only made the situation more difficult because he fucking fell forward and almost ate shit on his face, but he pulled his body in the backseat breathlessly. 

“Watch your fucking self, Jesus Christ, Louis,” Harry panted. “I could’ve eaten shit and broke my nose or something.” 

He was sitting in the seat with his legs spread and Louis had his feet resting on his thighs and for a moment, Harry felt the week’s exhaustion creep up on his bones. He just wanted to lay down for a minute and close his eyes, but then Louis was crawling over his clothed lap and he was wide awake again. 

“God, I always have to do everything myself,” Louis muttered, unbuckling Harry’s belt and unzipping his pants. He was swift with his movements and his hand always looked so small wrapped around the base of his cock and the minute Louis reached for him, it jumped in his hands. 

Louis giggled at him and Harry didn’t have any decency to be embarrassed because Louis was the hottest brat in the entire world. Louis stroked him slowly a couple of times, squeezing and teasing and making Harry lose his mind. It wasn’t the pace he wanted and he loved Louis’ handjobs, but he’d rather be inside of the naked boy instead. 

“You’re a fucking pillow princess!” Harry gritted through a moan, feeling his cock twitch under a twist on the underside of his vein. He gripped at Louis’ bare ass, squeezing tight and spreading them open. He went to finger him, but Louis squirmed away. 

“Just fuck me, don’t have to do all that,” He insisted, raising himself on his knees. He looked gorgeous above Harry, straddling him fully bare while Harry still had his clothes on. Harry brought a hand up to brush against his dusty nipples, the other holding his waist and fiddling with the piercing on his belly button. 

He got comfortable in his backseat, ignoring the baseballs under his boot and the bat that was digging into his back, and it was easy when Louis was guiding his cock into his hole. 

Being inside Louis was fucking fantastic. It was tight and warm and felt sort of like coming home. And hitting a home run, which was sort of funny because home base was having sex and they were having sex. 

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Louis mumbled, twitching and squirming and adjusting himself to sit comfortably on Harry’s cock. 

“God, you’re such a brat,” Harry hissed at him, clutching at Louis' waist and yanking him down. He was fully seated on Harry’s cock, keeping him nice and warm. He winced and even if it was supposed to be a sort of punishment for him, Harry gave him the time that he needed to get used to his stretch. 

“Feel so good, baby,” Harry groaned when Louis clenched and began to bounce. “You don’t run your mouth when you’re on my cock, huh?”

Louis was glaring at him with every thrust upwards from Harry’s hips, the complete opposite of the need dripping from his opened mouth and red cheeks. He was swiveling his hips, Harry’s eyes running wild with the different parts of Louis to focus on. 

There was so much to look at when it came to this boy, he was so stunning and marvelous and gorgeous. Harry squeezed his cheeks together, forcing his pretty blue eyes to focus on his own. 

“This is exactly how I like you,” Harry said, punching his hips into the warmth that Louis provided for him and only him. “Not speaking, not thinking, not doing anything but taking my cock. You take exactly what I give you without saying anything about it.”

Louis couldn’t say anything through the grip on his face, but his eyes were going fuzzy and watery. The air was being stolen from his lungs with the fuck of Harry’s cock against his special spot and the stutters of his breath and moans were such gorgeous musical notes. His fringe was falling into his face with the jostling of his body and his body was starting to shake. He clutched at Harry’s wrist with both of his hands, crying just the tiniest bit as Harry sped up his pace. 

“Does it feel good?” 

The pretty boy on his cock nodded and whined as his movements began to match Harry’s, rushed and hurried and full of hunger for the sweet release that they both needed so badly. It’d been too long since this happened the last time, since before last week when Harry and the rest of the baseball team had two games out of state. That was the last time Harry’s had sex and he hoped it was the last time for Louis, too. 

He started getting rougher with his thrusts, forcing Louis’ body to sit still and take the brutal pounding on Harry’s hips, as he wondered if it was the last time Louis’ had sex too. It better have been. Harry felt a little crazy as he shoved his cock inside again and again, unrelenting and unforgiving, at the idea of Louis not having waited for him to come back. Of him having sex with another person in the time that they’ve been apart, and not just this past week, but weeks before that. Years before that. 

It was ridiculous and weird and it must’ve been the one beer that Harry had been babysitting all night finally drowning his sanity. Louis’ glossy whimpers and whines were only encouraging the rough pace, encouraging the strange and sudden possession he felt over them. 

“Harry,” Louis cried, tears coming down his face and snapping Harry out of his overthinking all at once. Harry worried he was being too rough for a moment as he finally blinked out of his daze, but Louis’ tiny cock was dribbling a tiny bead of precome and it seemed fine. “Can I come please, sir?” 

They hadn’t even discussed using that word today and really, they weren’t playing the way they usually played. This was just a quick session of hate-sex in Harry’s car, but Harry’s body was covered in chills from the simple breathy word Louis gasped into the air. 

It was so fucking sexy, the way they fought and the way Louis was so feisty and stood his ground so firmly in front of everyone. It was so fucking sexy watching the same exact Louis Tomlinson give up that authority that he had just to let Harry fuck him, to let Harry control him in this way. 

“Please, please, please,” Louis repeated, voice garbled. He was starting to lose himself in his orgasm and Harry loved to watch the way he fell apart. 

“Do you think you deserve it?” Harry didn’t think he did, but he was going to give it to him anyways. “Go ahead, make yourself messy, baby.” He stopped fucking upwards and just let the head of his cock rub right against Louis’ prostate, grinding and grinding the heat of the two just enough to make Louis curl in on himself. 

He was like a kitten with the way his nails scratched down the length of Harry’s arms the more Louis began to get lost. Harry made sure he was there to catch Louis’ body the minute he lost control of his limbs, made sure to keep him steady enough that he could still finish himself off inside Louis. Maybe next time they could lose the condom. 

After a few quick circles of their bodies together, Louis’ tiny little cock spurted white ribbons of his release all over his tummy and belly button. It was mesmerizing to watch, to witness Louis in such a vulnerable and beautiful way. Harry still kept the grinds of his cock inside Louis’ hole at a firm pace, petting the sides of Louis’ hair with one hand and rubbing the mess on Louis’ tummy into his skin. 

“Oh,” Louis gasped, eyes squeezed shut after rolling back, body seizing and then falling. “Ah, Harry, Harry, Harry. Thank you, thank you, thank you,” He rambled like he didn’t know what else to do and he didn’t know what words to speak. He was always so gorgeous when he came, twitchy and sleepy like a tiny kitten.

“Shh,” Harry whispered, guiding Louis’ body to rest on Harry’s. Louis folded almost entirely and he hummed and shivered and cuddled into Harry, who just let him be. He knew by now that he still had free reign to pound into Louis’ sensitive hole, to reward himself for getting Louis to orgasm. “You’re so good, baby.”

It didn’t take him long either, not when Louis’ abused little cunt was clenching and unclenching and tight around him. It was warm velvet and the softest silk and Harry thrusted in three more times before his own vision went black and fuzzy. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Harry groaned, body spasming as he filled the condom with his seed even though flashes of going in bare were part of what helped him reach his orgasm. “You’re fucking perfect, baby. You did so good.” 

His bones felt heavy and Louis was half-asleep in his lap and he could’ve closed his eyes and used him as a blanket. But Louis was shivering and still mewling and naked and they were in a car that was parked a few houses down from a college party. 

So Harry caught his breath for a few minutes and basked in the quiet peacefulness that came after phenomenal sex and then reached over to grab a hoodie off the floor. It was a dirty one from practice and it had their university logo on it and it stunk just a little bit like a sweaty athlete, but it was big and warm and he’s sure Louis wouldn’t mind getting free gear. College wear was fucking expensive. 

It took him a few tough stretches of his long limbs to reach it and once he did, he put it on Louis. Louis was as good as dead right now and just moved with the motions of whichever way Harry moved him. He was squeezing Louis back into his pants and trying to button them up when a loud knock appeared on the window. 

It startled the both of them, but Louis only burrowed into Harry some more and left Harry to deal with whoever the fuck it was.

“Harry!”

It wasn’t an axe murderer like his heart feared for a moment. It was Liam. Liam was nice, Liam was his brother. He was also counting on Harry to be the designated driver tonight, him and about four more of Harry’s brothers and teammates. And they were all waiting right there. 

“Harry, man, who is that? Holy shit, is that Louis?” Liam laughed, sounding completely fucking wasted. He could feel Louis tense above him and it was a bad situation to begin with. 

“Fucking hell,” Harry cursed under his breath before removing himself from the tangle of limbs he and Louis were connected by. He opened the door and stood before his brothers, closing the door. “What the hell do you guys want?”

They were drunk and laughing and joking with each other and they all seemed to out of it to even understand what was wrong with Harry. Not Liam though. 

“Harry, who was on your lap in there? Who’s the lucky one tonight? I saw someone, don’t even try to deny it, you sly dog.” Liam’s finger wasn’t exactly pointing at Harry correctly, but it still managed to pin him in his place. 

No one knew what was happening between him and Louis. As far as everyone else was concerned, they absolutely hated each other and fought like cats and dogs. Harry preferred it that way and he’s sure Louis did too. It was easy. It was simple. It made more sense than Harry explaining that they hated each other and also fucked six ways to Sunday since their freshman year. 

He must’ve taken too long and didn’t even realize when Liam peeked through the window again. Harry was too broke to afford a dark enough tint on his windows and he fucking regretted ever being too cheap to pay the extra money to get a limousine tint. 

“Oh my fuck, is that Louis Tomlinson?” 

“I thought you hated him,” One of Harry’s younger frat brothers spoke up. He wasn’t good enough to be on the starting lineup of the baseball team so he shouldn’t have even spoken up to begin with. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Harry hissed at him. The car door opened behind him and Harry felt an odd rush of emotions that he didn’t have the time to comprehend. 

“Calm down and fix your hair,” Louis snapped. He looked irritated and nothing like the sleepy kitten that he always was after sex. He wasn’t soft or fuzzy or in his warm little headspace and Harry didn’t like that at all. It felt unsafe for no reason at all and Harry didn’t understand anything anymore. “Hi, Liam.”

“Hiya Louis!”

“How the fuck do you two know each other?” And it wasn’t so much the fact that they knew each other, but more so that Harry has known these two for the better part of three years and had no idea they had a budding friendship. It wasn’t jealousy. 

“Me and Lou go way back. He once tutored me in physics,” Liam informed him. “That’s not how we met though.” God, Harry loved Liam, but he was shit at explaining anything. 

“Good to know, Liam.” 

“Anyways, you two had sex? Nice. Always wondered when you would relieve that awful mess of tension between you two.”

“Shut the fuck up, Liam,” Harry snapped. “We didn’t have sex. Louis was drunk and I let him crash in my car. That’s it. I’d never have sex with Louis, that’s. That’s just. He’s leaving now.”

It was a panicked vomit of words that did nothing to dig them out of the hole they were in and it was definitely the wrong thing to say. It was possibly one of the worst things to have said and Harry regretted it the minute the words left his mouth. 

Liam winced and Harry didn’t want to turn around to see what Louis’ reaction was. He stood on his grave and mourned his dick after whatever kick Louis was going to send in his direction. 

Instead, there was a long pause of silence that stretched over the air like the heat in July and made Harry sweat in the nighttime air. Even his younger brothers, drunk and rowdy as they are, were quiet and fearful and Harry just wanted to drive his car off a cliff. 

“Well then,” Louis finally said, voice steady and deathly calm. “Thanks for letting my hideously drunk self crash in your car.” There was another beat of silence and Harry was still too terrified to look Louis in the eyes. “Actually, no. Liam, believe it or not, Harry did in fact fuck me in the back of his car. And then he lied to you about it. Don’t fret, it won’t happen again, Harry. The sex wasn’t that great.” 

Liam’s eyes went wide like he was watching a cringey movie scene and a horror film at once and Harry gulped down the coward’s fear in his chest to finally face Louis.

The boy was collected, calm and cool like nothing had happened. He wasn’t at all embarrassed or shameful and that made Harry feel even shittier. He held his chin up high and struck Harry with a steely, icey blue gaze. 

“Don’t bother me again, Styles,” Louis spoke firmly. He walked away steadily, like a princess that was too proud and prideful to let anything hurt them. It was frustrating and irritating all at once, especially because Harry wore his emotions all over his body and was being examined by his brothers so easily. 

He felt heartbroken and angry and sad and empty and upset and tired. He wanted to go home and wallow in whatever the mess of emotions he’d gone through today had left inside him. He wanted to lay in bed and try to stop replaying the moment he’d lived over in his head, like he was watching a car crash video on loop. He didn’t know why he was so upset, so hung up on what just happened. 

He didn’t know why Louis was hung up either and why any of this mattered when all they knew how to do was argue with each other until they’d end up fucking. He didn’t know how to make sense of anything. 

“Hey, boss,” Another one of his younger brothers mumbled quietly. “Is it cool if we head back to the house now? Eddy just threw up.” 

Harry let out a long breath through his nose, inhaling with his entire chest before releasing, and ignored all the fearful looks from his brothers. He didn’t know what they were expecting him to do and he didn’t know what he was expecting himself to do. 

“Get in the car and let’s go.” 

No one moved for a minute and he guessed it was because he hadn’t moved either, but he couldn’t bring himself to move just yet. He didn’t want to do anything really. He didn’t like the turn of his stomach and the rush of his heart that wasn’t at all endearing. It was painful almost, like a taunting tickle of embarrassment and regret running through his body. 

“Harry, if you’re not feeling up for—” Liam had started, but Harry shook his head a million times slowly, like he was trying to come to himself. 

“Just get in the car, Liam.” His voice didn’t sound like his own, it was foreign and far away just like everything else in this moment. Not even the chill of the night bit at his skin hard enough, not the breeze or the noise of people leaving the house because of the cops. It was all distant and strange, not long or strong enough to reach the far away space Harry was in. 

The ride home was silent and he ignored the worried looks sent his way and the ache in his chest. He focused on the road and the baseball between his fingers. 

The rest of the night was silent and sad and confused and lonely. 

He still feels off the entire week. 

He has a few baseball games and practices and he does great at all of them because he’s never not kicked ass at what he does, but it wasn’t his best. He wasn’t playing with that happy excitement and competitive spirit he was known for, he was playing like a robot there to appease his scholarship. 

His body went through all the motions of his week, to throwing the ball and hitting the ball and catching the ball, to eating the millions of foods he eats to fuel his body and sitting in lectures and doing his duties around the house. 

His brothers and teammates and even coaches acted like someone Harry knew had died, always talking to him like a child in need of some space and gentleness. It would’ve been frustrating if Harry could focus on something other than the awful tenderness in his veins, of the confusion and hurt and sadness. 

He didn’t even get the chance to see Louis on campus because he’d spent half the week away in fucking Kansas playing against their shitty state team and the other half catching up on whatever homework he’d missed. He holed himself up in his room and only came out for frat or team dinners and practice. 

And the entire time, he’d thought about what Louis was doing. He wondered if Louis was seeing that stupid guy or tutoring other people in physics or hanging around with all his friends or doing whatever else he always did before Harry would catch him for argument and sex.

It was driving Harry crazy enough that he escaped the mess of his bedroom to go for a walk around the decently sized campus, his shitty attempt at leaving behind the dread of homework and the disarray of his room and the disaster he’d made with Louis. 

He put headphones on and tried not to make eye contact with anyone to avoid conversation, just walked to the beat of the random queue of his shuffled Apple Music library. He decided to walk between the actual campus library and the music building since he’d never even noticed there was a garden between them or even a walking path. 

And as he turned the corner to the side of the library building, he’d noticed the pretty and petite boy who’d been on his mind for the entirety of a week. His heart sped up before his mind could catch the step of his feet entering the library and he didn’t really have a game plan, but he wasn’t thinking and he didn’t even care. 

He hasn’t been on the campus library since his freshman year of English when they’d taught them all how to use the library as a research resource, so it took him a minute to try to locate the boy between the stacks and desks. 

Louis was sitting there, looking beautiful and breathtaking, sitting by the window with the sun shining on his face perfectly. He was slouched over a big textbook and frantically writing in a notebook, with a laptop opened to the side. He was gorgeous and he was also the boy that Harry swore a million times that he hated.

Harry marched right over and slid into the seat across from him and Louis didn’t even notice until Harry put an elbow on the desk. He jumped like Harry had scared him and when their eyes met, all possibilities of the kindness Louis offered to everyone was gone. For a minute, Harry expected Louis to throw the physics textbook at him. 

Instead, Louis eyed him blankly before returning to his notes. 

It hurt, a lot more than Harry was expecting because they never got along, but they were never like this. 

He glanced at the paper Louis was writing on and it was full of a bunch of quantum bullshit that went right over Harry’s head. Not Louis. Louis was so fucking smart, it hurt Harry’s head. Louis was a genius. He was here on a full scholarship for something in physics and he could solve complex mathematical equations in his sleep and write ten page essays out of boredom. He was so fucking brilliant. Everyone knew that, but not everyone was as proud of him as Harry was.

It was one of the thousands of reasons why Harry had asked him out on a date. But that was a mistake and so was the mess that they were in. Louis was such a pain in the ass. Harry was sure he was, too and this was a disaster. 

“No friends with you?” It was a poor attempt to egg him on, to get him to say anything even if it was an argument. It was banter because all Harry knew was deflecting his feelings by shielding them with banter. 

Louis ignored him, didn’t even pause his writing. It was frustrating. 

“Your shoes are untied.” Nothing. 

“There’s a spider on your head.” Again, nothing. Louis pretended like he didn’t exist. 

“The quantum multiverse? Isn’t that something Marvel made up?” Harry had said that once and Louis just about bursted into a nerdy meltdown, ranting endlessly about God knows what as Harry pounded into him with an Avengers movie playing in the background. It was oddly super fucking hot. 

Harry was sure it would’ve triggered Louis into a physics lesson, but again, absolutely nothing. In fact, Louis just dug through his bag and whipped out headphones. He plugged them into his laptop and turned the volume loud enough that Harry could hear the muffled melody coming from them. 

He sat there without any idea on what to do and Harry doesn’t really think. College wasn’t his thing, feelings weren’t his thing, thinking wasn’t his thing. He did baseball and he did sex. He was great at those. Yanking the white wires out of Louis’ ear wasn’t a smart idea at all. It was stupid and careless and dumb and it was exactly the kind of thing that got Harry in trouble in the first place, but it got Louis to break his vow of silence. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” Louis finally scowled at him, yanking the wires back from Harry’s hands. His eyes were full of hate, absolute anger and fire and nothing at all like the normal fire that burned whenever they argued.

There were no small hints of amusement or playfulness and it all felt very off. Harry’s stomach felt queasy and this felt strangely enough like a fight, even though Harry thought that’s what they did always. This was different, this wasn’t good. He was too shocked to even say anything. 

Louis rolled his eyes at him and shook his head to himself. 

“Don’t like being pushed aside, do you? Boo fucking hoo, Harry Styles. I’ve got friends coming in a bit, so if you don’t move, I’m going somewhere else.” His voice was cold and indifferent and it sounded like a ghost. Harry didn’t recognize this voice. Louis had never used this tone with him and it hurt and Harry didn’t understand why it hurt. 

“What the fuck is up with you?” He’d settled on asking, because he didn’t know what the fuck was up with either of them. He didn’t know why he had been feeling so weirdly lately about Louis and their situation. 

“Really?” Louis scoffed in disbelief. 

“Yes,” Harry says a bit incredulously. 

“You’re an absolute dickhead and I want you to leave me alone.” It sounded final and certain and fear was crawling around in Harry’s throat. 

“What? Why?” The emotions were obvious in Harry’s tone, at least to himself, and he prayed Louis didn’t catch onto the weird desperation he’d suddenly felt. “Look, if this is about what I said, I didn’t mean it—”

“Oh, shut up. You want to know why? Maybe because I don’t want to keep fucking around with you,” Louis said, eyes narrowed and body tense like a threatened animal. 

“Why’s that? Is this because of that Steven guy?” 

Louis laughed at him like he was being crazy and this whole situation felt crazy. “And if it was?” If it was, Harry was going to beat the shit out of Steve. Fuck him. Louis was his and he didn’t know how or why or when he’d felt like this, but it made sense to him and fuck Steve. “He’s respectful and sweet.” 

And that made Harry’s sight go just the tiniest bit green because he was a piece of shit. Fuck Steve. He didn’t deserve Louis and he didn’t want Steve’s disgusting hands touching Louis and he didn’t even want him thinking about Louis. He was angry and hurt and it wasn’t jealousy, it couldn’t be. 

“What the fuck it that supposed to mean?” 

Louis laughed again, finally putting his pen down and giving Harry all of his attention. Harry was so desperate for it that he was willing to fight like this for it, with real emotions and things that Harry hadn’t even processed yet laid out on the table. 

“What the fuck do you think it means? You’re a fucking asshole, Harry.” 

Harry’s jaw dropped and he sort of felt offended. He mainly was just pissed that this Steve guy seemed to have a one up against him for Louis and it wasn’t accurate at all. 

“You are, too!” He should’ve said anything but that. It wasn’t helping him and all he could think about was Louis standing up and leaving them for good. Leaving them and running to Steve and doing all sorts of things that Harry didn’t want them to do. 

Louis shot him a bored look with low eyes and a tilted head. His patience was running thin and so was Harry’s, but this time, Harry knew they weren’t going to mold their bodies together like magnets. This was different. 

“Yeah, but you’re not the one who got stood up for a date.” 

And Harry had to laugh at that and pull at his hair just a little manically. 

“Oh my God, let it fucking go, will you?”

“I fucking am,” Louis scoffs again. “Leave me alone.” 

“Why are you so fucking upset over that? It’s been ages, Louis. We would’ve never gone past the first date anyways.” Again, he should have said just about anything but that. 

“You never fucking apologized, dickhead,” Louis seethes through clenched teeth. “I’m glad that you fucking stood me up and then acted like the entitled jock you are because God knows how long you would’ve walked all over me if we were in an actual relationship.”

Harry huffs at him and Louis rolls his eyes again. “Whatever. I’m not having sex with you anymore. Leave me alone.”

“So this is all because that guy? He’s a loser.” 

“Oh my God,” Louis groans, smacking a palm against his forehead in disbelief. “Why can’t you believe that you’re to blame for this? You fucked up. You were a dickhead to me after we had sex and then embarrassed me in front of your friends. This is because of you. You don’t even know Steven.”

And Harry’s always had a problem with his pride. It’s why he’s competitive and why he was always the best. It's also why he doesn’t shut his fucking mouth. But he’s hurt and angry and sad and he just wants to stop with all this and fix it and his defense mechanism is stupidity. 

“I know enough to know he’s a loser.” He feels pathetic and this is as close to begging as he’s ever come to and he’s throwing insults for no reason and he wants it to all go away. He wants to lay in bed with Louis and play wrestle him until they’re fucking to some random movie. 

He wants to go back to when there wasn’t an upset in the balance of sex and arguing and post-sex cuddles with someone who he’s supposed to hate. He wants to go back to when he didn’t have so many emotions clouding his vision and sanity and he didn’t question what he felt for Louis. 

Louis just sighs and he looks as exhausted as Harry does. 

“Are you going to stay here or leave? My friends just got out of class,” Louis asks him, all the fight gone from his body. 

“If I see that Steven guy, I’m going to beat the shit out of him.” He doesn’t know why he says it, but he does and he feels convicted in his words. 

Louis groans. “Do you hear yourself right now? God, you’re fucking stupid sometimes, Harry. I wish you’d stop pretending to hate me so fucking much so we could figure shit out like adults. This would all be so much easier if you weren’t so stubborn.” He takes a deep breath before he addresses Harry again. “He treats me with respect. He’s nice. He cares about me. So what if he wants to date me?” 

“So I don’t treat you with respect?” And Harry knows the answer to that. Outside of the bedroom, he knows exactly just how nicely he treats Louis and it’s just as nicely as Louis treats him. They’re not good to each other at all. 

“Do you think that standing me up on a date a few years ago without apologizing for it, and then getting upset with me for being upset with you, and then engaging in stupid petty arguments whenever we see each other—which is about the only form of interaction that we have with each other—and then keeping me a little secret in your bedroom for the better part of three years is respect?” Louis asks, all in one slow, angry and exhausted breath. “I know I’ve been a jerk to you and I apologize for that. It was stupid and petty and I should’ve moved on. But this is me moving on.”

Harry doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want Louis to leave. He wants to be in his presence for as long as possible. He doesn’t want to break down and beg Louis to start over, beg Louis to make everything that’s tossing in Harry’s head make sense like he does with his math problems. He doesn’t want to cry or kick a chair or get on his knees and place his head right onto Louis’ tummy. 

“I’m going to go, you can stay here. Maybe figure some things out, like how a library works.” That was a good piece of banter that Harry would normally jump off on, but he couldn’t get his mouth or brain to work. All that was running was his heart and that didn’t assure him enough to speak. “I meant what I said when I don’t want to have sex with you anymore, Harry. Or fight or argue or whatever you call the stupid foreplay to sex. It was silly. Have a good day, Harry.” 

He leaves quietly and Harry doesn’t even recognize that he’s still sitting alone in the library. He doesn’t know how to handle the overwhelming feeling of his entire body crushing itself. His heart squeezes and breaks and he can barely feel it beating in his chest. He feels empty and he’s never been broken up with or had a broken heart, but he thinks this is what it feels like. And it shouldn’t, because they were never together and it should all be left behind now. 

But Harry feels like he can’t move on from this. He feels like he can’t go forward and can’t do anything other than mourn the loss of whatever he’d had. He didn’t even have Louis completely, but even the small part that he did have has left him bruised and battered and he isn’t sure what to do next. 

He doesn’t go back to the frat house until Liam finds him by some odd chance and walks him home with a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. 

The next week passes worse than the last. He’s away again, in fucking New Jersey and its cold and wet and it looks exactly how Harry feels. It’s depressing and pathetic and Harry never believed that cheesy romance movie sadness was real, but he feels exactly like every protagonist that just got their heart stomped on. He knows because he spent all the plane and car rides and any of his free time watching every heartbreak movie known to cinema. 

And he shouldn’t feel that way, but he does and he likes that New Jersey wallows in his dramatics just a bit. When his coaches and trainers pull him aside during practice to ask him what’s wrong, he just shrugs his shoulders and says his fish died. He doesn’t have a fish and everyone knows that, but he’d rather say that than “I fucked up my chances with someone who I might actually not at all hated.” 

He thinks about whether or not Louis is with Steven. The thought of them holding hands and kissing and laughing together makes his chest hurt and his eyes water. It makes him feel angry and he can’t believe it when he finally admits that he’s jealous. He didn’t know he could feel jealousy so intensely or horribly. He feels ridiculous because he feels like he could easily get violent with Steven and Louis would be upset, but he’d make a fool of himself any day if it meant no one else got to steal Louis away from him. 

It’s terrifying, actually, because Harry doesn’t know why he feels jealous. It’s just Louis. Louis is beautiful, but he’s Louis. Harry’s known him since they were both freshmen that didn’t really know their places on campus yet, didn’t quite feel like the adults surrounding them in class. They were both barely starting to grow into themselves and it’s just Louis, someone who he could possibly be friends with if they hadn’t gotten into this big mess. 

Except Harry doesn’t want to be just friends and that’s also terrifying. 

He’s late to the weekly team/frat dinner they all have on Thursday nights and he has to wait in line at the on-campus Chipotle all by himself, but he doesn’t care because the minute he steps in line, one of Louis’ friends steps in behind him. She’s on her phone and doesn’t notice him, but Harry’s always been confident and friendly and isn’t deterred in the slightest bit. 

“Hey,” He says easily, sticking a hand out. She eyes it for a moment and sort of looks disgusted by him, but Harry’s known for being determined. He didn’t win the State Championship last year for being a coward. “How are you?”

She gives him a look and raises an eyebrow before crossing her arms over her chest. She’s really pretty, with gorgeous black skin and a crown full of braids, and Harry remembers one of his brothers drooling over her. 

“What do you want?” 

And thank God for that. Harry wasn’t really interested in small talk either.

“Where does Louis live on campus?” 

“Seriously? You really think I’m going to give you his address?” 

They move up a tiny bit in line, but it’s rush hour and the staff is slow so Harry’s got time. Harry grimaces because that’s fair enough. 

“Can I have his number?” He had Louis’ number, except Louis got an upgrade, just before their fight, with a different carrier and now he has a new number that Harry doesn’t have. And Louis sure as hell wasn’t going to text him first. 

“For what? Seriously, fuck off.” 

He wants to be mean and snap, to tell her to fuck off, but he also thinks about how he wants to make it up to Louis and being nicer to his friends is a good first step. He inhales and puts on a dimpled smile. 

“Look, I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you in the past. I was a dickhead to you and to Louis. I want to make it better and I want to move forward with no hard feelings. This is my apology. You don’t have to take it or feel like you owe me. I just wanted you to know that I want to do better, especially with Louis,” He says, sticking a hand out in a truce. She didn’t shake it the first time, but she considered it for a moment this time around. 

“Fine,” She finally caves in. “But I’m not telling you any of that because he’s my best friend and he’s mad at you. Put your hand down cause I’m not shaking it.” Harry does so immediately. “He’s volunteering at the engineering building and he’ll be coming out at nine. If you wanna get on his good side, he’ll probably be hungry so bring him some food. A milkshake because those are his favorite.”

Harry wants to hug her and he doesn’t have any control over his body when he does. She squeals in surprise and he squeezes her tight even though she isn’t hugging back. 

“Thank you, a lot,” He says sincerely once he pulls away. “This means so much to me. I owe you, big time. Whatever you want.” He considers it for a minute. “Maybe. But I owe you. Sorry, again, you know, for being a dick.”

She rolls her eyes at him, but Harry can sense the amusement and he’ll take it. 

“Whatever. If Louis doesn’t forgive you, you can kiss whatever this was, goodbye. I’ll also beat the shit out of you.”

Harry doesn’t have the heart to tell her that if Louis doesn’t forgive him, he’ll probably drop out of school and disappear off the face of the earth and won’t ever see her again. He’ll probably live in isolation and listen to Taylor Swift and Adele and whatever other heartbreak diva legends there are forever. 

He also doesn’t have the heart to eat the burrito he’d ordered because of the happy and nervous butterflies rumbling in his stomach. He still sits with his brothers and teammates and chats like he always does. Everyone notices the change in him immediately and even he can feel it, but no one says anything other than the proud grins they shoot at him. 

He feels hopeful and dejected all at once because this is quite literally the only thing he’s got. 

The time between then and nine go by in a blur of nerves and in a slow drip of honey all at once. It couldn’t have come faster and slower. It was a big horrible oxymoron and at exactly nine on the dot, Harry stood outside of the engineering building clutching a bag of fast food in his hands tightly. 

He hopes Louis likes Oreo milkshakes because he wasted dining dollars on it and he wasted a meal swipe on the burger so he hopes Louis likes that, too. He can’t really afford to waste his meal tickets because he eats constantly, but he doesn’t think Louis would just throw it away. Right?

He’s overthinking everything like he’s waiting in line for a rollercoaster, nerves are eating at his heart and stomach and he feels like an idiot standing outside of a campus building with food in the freezing cold. But it’s all worth it for the smallest chance that this goes well and Harry can at least be friends with Louis. Even just getting to glance at Louis without the other boy throwing daggers at him would be a blessing. 

He distracts himself by looking at the bulletin outside the building and it has all sorts of things posted on it, including posters with Harry on it for the baseball team. He waits some more and distracts himself by reading the big signs with arrows all over them. 

From what he can tell, the event Louis is volunteering for had something to do with elementary school kids and that just melts Harry’s heart because Louis was so fucking kind. He was friends with everyone and everyone loved him and he gave the shirt off his back for people. His heart was full of gold and he was a ray of fucking sunshine and Harry’s pissed at himself for fucking everything up. 

Louis had some fault, maybe, but Harry was the one who would lose the world if nothing worked out in the end. 

Also, the idea of Louis with children just put a smile on his face. He was so gentle and caring and patient and God, there wasn’t a more pure sight in the world that Harry could imagine. 

At exactly 9:13, Louis walks out with Steven beside him and that wasn’t a part of the plan at all. It throws Harry off enough to stutter his footsteps when he walks towards them, but Louis notices him immediately and it’s too late for him to turn around and mope. So he continues forward until they meet somewhere in the middle and it’s awkward for a quick moment as Louis and Steven assess Harry and Harry finds something to say. 

“Hi,” He eventually settles on. It was directed at both of them because as much as Harry would like to punch that guy in the nose, it wouldn’t be right to Louis and this was all for Louis. “Er, uh. I hope I’m not bothering, but can I talk to you alone?”

Louis raises a brow and Steven looks like he’d rather Louis not, but Louis is his own person and Harry will punch him in the nose if he tells Louis what to do. 

“Yeah, that’s alright,” Louis decides. “You can go, I’ll talk to you later. Get home safe, okay?” He tells Steven because he’s polite and caring and perfect. 

Steven leaves with a warning look in Harry’s direction and Harry wants to punch him in the nose. Fuck that guy. 

They’re alone and it’s awkward again. Louis kicks at a pebble and rocks on his heels and he’s nervous, too because Harry recognizes all his little ticks. 

“These are for you,” Harry blurts, shoving the bag and milkshake in Louis’ face anxiously. 

Louis accepts it with a strange look and gives a half-frown. “Thank you, that’s very nice of you. But, um, I’m still not having sex with you.” 

“What? No! No, no, no. Of course not, that’s not why I’m,” Harry rushes to fix the problem all in one stutter. Louis’ face scrunches in confusion even further. 

“Then what else? Sorry, you usually don’t come to me unless it’s for like, an argument or sex.” He laughs weakly, but this is so fucking awkward and tense that the joke doesn’t linger in the air for very long. Harry winces at the reminder of why he’s really here and so does Louis because he still doesn’t get the purpose of this. 

“Look, Louis,” He starts off, taking a deep calming breath and closing his eyes briefly. “I’m really sorry for everything. I’m sorry for standing you up and then acting like a dick afterward. I should’ve apologized instead of ignoring it and acting exactly like the entitled asshole you think I am when I asked for another date. I’m also sorry for not treating you at all how you should be treated. All I did was push your buttons all the time and it’s probably considered harassment on Title IX how much I picked a fight with you, but I think I liked having your attention on me, even if it meant that you hated me. And I don’t hate you at all, I just didn’t want to admit that I was stupid and a dickhead because I have a fragile ego and I need to work on that, and I will! Seriously, I’m so sorry. You have every right to be upset with me, especially because I just kept feeding into your feelings negatively and then I had the fucking audacity to feel entitled to your body because we were having sex and I’m just absolutely horrified by myself, holy shit. I’m so fucking sorry. Is this making any sense? Jesus Christ.”

Harry was rambling and pulling at his hair like an idiot. He should’ve written a better apology out instead of whatever the fuck he was doing now. God, he was making a fool of himself and Louis didn’t deserve an impromptu apology. He didn’t deserve an apology as messy as Harry’s behavior throughout the years, especially when Harry was becoming more and more upset with himself in the process.

Louis dug in the paper bag and fished out a fry, munching on it happily over the sound of the bag crinkling. 

“You know I’ve been in love with you for the better part of three years, right?” Louis says the words so casually, like he was talking about an assignment for class or the fucking weather. 

Harry coughs and wheezes and he thinks he might’ve triggered a panic attack and an asthma attack at the same time. He’s never done that before and he wonders if he’s dying for just a moment when his coughing gets particularly rough. His head is spinning and honestly, it isn’t because of the worrying state of his health. It’s because of the words that just left Louis’ mouth. 

He tries to say something, but he can only focus on trying to stop wheezing. 

“Yeah,” Louis laughs. “I’d bet my degree that you feel pretty much the same, but I’ve lost hope that you’ll ever figure it out or admit to it. Which is fine. I get it, sort of. So I mean it when I said no more sex. That shit hurts and it’s not just cause you’re big.”

Louis laughed at his own joke and Harry thinks he would too if he weren’t dying. Louis eyes him funnily, like Harry’s silly for acting the way that he is. 

“I don’t even think we can be friends because I can’t keep giving myself up to you in the only way that I can have you. It’s not healthy for me. I thought we’d get somewhere at first, but it’s been three years and I’m still just a secret fuck buddy and that fucking hurts. I don’t even know if you’re having sex with other people and it’s sort of sad that I’m so desperate to be with you in any way, that I don’t care if you were. I just wanted something, you know?”

And Harry does know, because that’s exactly why he was picking fights with Louis like school children. He wanted to have Louis and Louis had rejected his proposal for a second date, so he thought petty arguments with a pretty boy was the next best thing. The sex fell somewhere along the lines and Harry didn’t want to jeopordize the only way they’d have each other. 

He tells him this, through choked coughs as he catches his breath and steadies his heartbeat. Louis understands in amusement, mainly because Harry is beet red and his voice is fucking fucked thanks to his fit seconds eariler, but he looks happy and beautiful and Harry thinks that’s all that matters. He spills every sort of unspilled truth that he’s buried deep at the bottom of his heart and Louis listens with glossy blue eyes and a top-teeth biting the bottom lip grin. 

“I like to dress you in my hoodies because it’s some sort of claim I have on you, it’s this weird honor thing I feel that I get to have you wear my things and spoil you in them, even if I didn’t know you wore them ever again.” 

“I did,” Louis giggles. “I wear them to bed. Have a whole drawer with them folded in it.”

“And I had all sorts of Google alerts on the things you’re into. Like fucking nerdy physics things and Marvel and stupid Alex Turner, and I don’t understand anything about them. Not one thing, but I have it because it’s like I get to share your interests with you and it’s so weird. Also, I’m ridiculously jealous of your crush on Alex Turner. I feel so weird.”

“It’s not weird,” Louis insists. “I followed all those stupid baseball twitter accounts on my own. Ruined my ratio and everything. Don’t ever know what the fuck is going on on my timeline, but it’s worth it for the small bits of normal conversation we had and you’d talk about the damned sport. Baseball players are also hot.”

And there’s all sorts of things that they discover and it’s kind of insane the things that they’ve come up with, but it makes Harry feel a million times lighter. He doesn’t have to carry that weight anymore, the weight he’d drag around all day until he saw Louis and could throw it at him and Louis would throw his and they’d fight and fuck for the tiniest bit of relief. It makes them laugh, hard tearful laughter at their stupidity and their secret devotion of one another, but it also makes Harry feel guilty again. 

“I don’t think of you just for sex. I don't. Really. I liked the sex. A lot and it’s why I kept going back for more but it wasn’t just about the sex. It was more. I don’t know. Like. You were nice to everyone except me. And I get that it was because I stood you up but I didn’t really like that you were mad at me and took it out on me. and that’s selfish I know but it kind of hurt to see you be so fucking nice to everyone except me and I completely deserved it but I’m also a complete idiot.”

Louis takes a breath and puts his food down on the floor beside him before wrapping his arms around the back of Harry’s neck. He tilts his own back dramatically to look at him and Harry’s hands come to rest on his waist. They don’t say anything for a minute, just stare at each other’s features without the pressure of staring for too long or ruining the moment. 

Louis’ beautiful, Harry’s said it countless times before and thought it a million times before that. He loves the light freckles on his face, the crinkles by his eyes, the tiny tiny imperfections that are so perfect and cute. 

“I think,” Louis finally says. “I think we were both idiots in a thousand different ways. But we have all the time in the world to figure everything out. For now, I know I love you and I think the best apology would be a kiss.” 

Harry breathes in heavily, breathing in the soft scent of vanilla and Louis. He doesn’t say anything because Louis’ eyes are already closed and his head is tilted forward patiently and his smiling lips are calling Harry’s own and it’s been far too long since he’s last had a taste. 

When they’re lips finally meet, it’s coming home. It’s peace and happiness and the calm of the sea all at once. It’s perfect and magnificent and marvelous and beautiful and it eases the aches in his bones and the numb in his veins. It cures him of anything that isn’t the steady beat of the waves on the shore on a perfect day, with an ocean and sky that’s blue like the color Louis’ eyes and where the sun is bright like Louis’ smile. 

He spins them around to match the slow movement of their mouths, sweet and romantic, and Louis’ giggles fill the air sounding exactly like Harry’s happiness. 

“I’m not putting out until after the first date,” Louis teases, wiggling his eyebrows when Harry grips at his hips. “And I expect you not to stand me up again. Wine and dine, Styles. I’m a classy lady.”

Harry huffs out a laugh and a smile because Louis won’t let it go and he’s perfectly fine with it now that he’s going to fucking nail it on the head. 

“Our first date is going to rock your socks off and then your knickers, too,” He teases back, diving right into Louis’ neck to blow air kisses and make a trumpet noise against the skin. 

Louis giggles and tries to pull away and they’re standing in the middle of campus by the engineering building late at night, probably looking ridiculous, but Harry thinks that love makes everyone a little delirious. At least this time it’s not a screaming match. 

The second (third, if the time Harry asked Louis out again and was rejected counts, but Harry ignores that one) first date goes fucking phenomenal. 

Harry drove them out of town into an empty field just before sunset and they did a puzzle together and ate pasta that Harry made with the help of his brothers and his team. It was a Valentine’s Day romantic outing and he’d gotten the idea off Pinterest. But they solved the puzzle in about an hour, mainly thanks to Louis’ pretty little genius brain, and kissed pasta sauce off each other’s mouths. And they talked and cuddled and kissed and Harry laid out the blankets when it got colder. Louis got to watch the stars twinkle in the night sky and Harry got to watch them in his eyes. 

It went so well that Harry’s rocking into the heat of Louis’ hole and telling him how much he loves him and how perfect he’s being and how good he is and how beautiful his little star looks under the glow of the galaxy stars. 

Third times are always the charm, Harry thinks, and he’s got his lucky little charm beneath him and there is not a single thing in the entire world that Harry would trade it for.

**Author's Note:**

> eeee that was it. thank you so much for reading and follow my [valentine](https://twitter.com/breadylou) hehe 
> 
> also follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/harriblou) and [tumblr](https://harriblou.tumblr.com) and please send me prompts, please. please. PLEASE. 
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!! ily <3 xx.


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